I revised my rough draft as per my feedback in last weeks class. First I wanted to clear up the scene with the chair in the detention room. A couple of people thought the scene was meant as an obstacle for why Dylan would not make it to an audition for the school’s choir.
I changed a few scenes so the story flows better. I feel like the beat of the story is richer.
I also added dialogue to the scenes, another suggestion from the professor. Adding dialogue does make a difference. The visuals are more understandable and helps to guide the story.
Emma Kent Mastery Journal 